Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
