shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
