Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
