Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
