and you said cock pushups were impossible
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize