once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
