Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
