he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
