'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
