I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
