I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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