i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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