Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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