need another drink. this is the easiest way
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
