you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
