phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
