he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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