I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize