If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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