Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
