My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
