I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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