Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize