we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize