you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My ass is underappreciated
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
