You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
