i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
