is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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