thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
