so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
