Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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