Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
