I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
