Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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