You work out of a Hotel?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
