I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize