I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
