Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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