Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
