I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
my liver is dry heaving
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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