guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
