you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize