No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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