He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
