I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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