Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize