Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
