Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
