don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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