I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
smell my finger.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize