In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
