To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
