When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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