i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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