ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
