I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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