Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
wow bdsm is so cute
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