walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sex in a hospital.. check
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
