Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
