you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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