Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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