Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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