I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
