god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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