I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
