I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
