So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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