ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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