I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
