4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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