i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it glows. i had to have it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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