i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
please come you make the beer taste better
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
